I picked up this book because the Daily Mail (obviously, the source of all knowledge) reported that Adele credited this book as much as her own hard work, with the incredible transformation that she has achieved with her health this year so I thought I'd take a look.
At the risk of sounding like we are starting a TOYL book club (which isn't a terrible idea, what do you think?) I also thought, over the next few weeks, that I'd share a couple of themes that came out of the book that might resonate, the first of which is "feel the burn".
To give you a bit of background, Glennon is an author and motivational speaker who has a huge profile in the USA. She is also one of the most honest writers because quite often, you get motivational speakers who seem to suggest that all is perfect in their world, that their method has solved everything but actually life isn't quite like that, it's more nuanced.
The TOYL framework I offer as a way to look at midlife isn't something that I always adhere to because I'm human and as frail minded as the next person, but I try, that's all any of us can do.
Anyway, Glennon recently posted to her 1.2 million followers on Instagram that they were following a totally depressed motivational speaker and they ought to know that. She wrote "There's your inspiration for the day. What can I say? YOU'RE the one who follows a Clinically Depressed Motivational Speaker." See? I don't think a lot of "self-help gurus" post like that.
Glennon was a drink and drug addict, now clean for over fifteen years, but she says that the reason she used them is because she didn't want to feel the pain that life threw up at her. When we finally decide to change ourselves, be it giving up wine o'clock, losing weight, changing our personal relationships, she says "If we want to build the new, we must be willing to let the old burn." In short, if we want to change, we have to face full on the feelings that we are trying to blot out and let them burn us. We need to feel the full force of them before we can change.
I've tried this in small things. For example, in my morning workouts I quite often take a short cut, pretending to myself that the instructor is twenty odd and therefore cannot be telling a fifty seven year old woman to do more press ups, but I know that I'm stopping at "uncomfortable" rather than "I am going to pass out". Now, I try to confront my fear of the pain and do more, feeling the full force of why I try to limit myself mentally before I've even done something.
So, this week, when confronted by something uncomfortable this week, such as a feeling of stress, panic, anxiety and so on, try to sit with those emotions and feel them wash over you. Try to understand where they come from before you reach for food, wine, cigarettes or (uprescribed) drugs. Be brave. If your goal is not to remain the same, but to live more fully then, as Glennon says "let go of the shore in order to travel deeper and see farther."
Sometimes, you just have to go out of your depth to move forward.
Untamed by Glennon Doyle is available on Amazon.
This is an unpaid post, I purchased the book, with no discount, and have used it in this post because I thought it might interest.
Insta: glennondoyle
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