Today is World Menopause Awareness Day, a subject very close to our hearts here at TOYL. I asked many of the inspirational women I've spoken to over the past year about their personal Menopause experience, good and bad. Here's what they said.
Tracey Sayer
Fashion Director at Fabulous Magazine. @trayslounge
"I can do this on my own. I can do this on my own. I can’t do this on my own… Basically, I tried for 18 months to ‘beat’ the menopause. I have always risen to any challenge and am fitter than I have ever been in my forties, so I couldn’t see why I couldn’t just get on with it.
"However, when it got to the point where I didn’t even recognise myself or own my own body I knew I had to do something about it. It turns out that your hormones pretty much rule your life and when they are totally off kilter so are you. No matter how tough you think you are.
"After seeking the right advice (Thank you DR Harper) and getting on the right HRT for me, I got right back on track, stuck two fingers up to vaginal dryness, got my mojo back and finally felt like me again… I would even go as far as to say a better version...😝
Sue Peart, Journalist
Lauren Chiren -Founder & Managing Director
The low point for me was being diagnosed in my early thirties as peri menopausal and it actually happening almost immediately after giving birth to my daughter and wanting to have more children I was so disappointed and grieving for the children I would never have. I snapped out of it once I realised how fortunate I was to have 2 now 19 & 29
"What my menopause taught me was the importance of selfcare and wellness. Prior to this I had done everything in my life to extreme - My Career, My Relationships, Friends and Family leaving little for myself. The contrary indications for health that I had made me think harder about myself.
"My biggest wake up was in my mid forties, I have made extreme lifestyle changes. As women we have a powerful intuition that when it comes to ourselves we tend to ignore, I now tune into that more than ever. For me this gives me a different perspective and also empowers me to manage change way better. I am way more mellow now, still driven. But knowing I am responsible for my health and wellbeing everything I tell myself, everything I consume, how seriously I take exercise and gut health it’s all my responsibility so my goal is to be an athlete in my own life and remain as well as possible for as long as possible, taking each day as it comes.
Jane Scrivner - founder of Jane Scrivner Skincare
"Peri menopause hit at 46, I didn’t get any immediately recognisable symptoms i.e. sweats and mood swings – there weren’t any swings, it was a permanent low lying mood coupled with inability to get a full lungful of air. I was permanently out of breath and a constant muscle tingle all over my back.
"As the years progressed I had ‘crashing fatigue’ it was all I could do not to crawl into a darkened room and sleep, but you can’t do that when starting a new business, you just do what you do and get on with it, which doesn’t help the mood!
"My doctor asked if I would consider HRT and after living on a ton of edamame beans a day, rattling with natural supplements, eating perfectly –and NO alcohol, I wasn’t living, I was drifting through each day feeling dreadful. Literally hours after taking my first replacement pills I was back, the muscle fizz disappeared and the anger subsided – I liked stuff again.
"10 years later, I can see the end of the whole process, last remaining hormone surges happen occasionally and now I am embracing the legitimised status of a post-menopausal freedom that puts me back in the driving seat – maybe I should have surrendered and let it take me out of my working day and have been kinder to myself but I don’t think that’s me.
"I’m very glad it’s nearly over. I don’t think any part of it was good, but then it didn’t really stop me doing things, so no part of it was ‘preventingly’ bad either.
"I don’t think it taught me anything except that my hormones are the accelerator and brake pedals on a driverless car, sometimes it’s a lovely day trip and sometimes you think you will crash and burn, but you always get out alive."
Tina Malhame - Fashion Designer and Founder of No Logo Chic
"I will sound quite smug, I am sure, when I say I didn’t have a single hot flush or sweaty night. But really, I didn’t. Not once. My mother said eat avocados, fruit, oats, nuts and you’ll be fine. So, I did. But actually, I wasn’t fine at all. I developed all sort of other things which, frankly, made me miserable.
"Anxiety. On two occasions paramedics came. “Sorry love, you are only having a panic attack”. I saw flashing lights. I felt tearful. I was frequently lightheaded. My female doctor understood and I felt sad when she left the practice and was replaced by a man.
"The weight sneaked onto my tummy and hips. My hair and nails thinned.
"One day I took myself off to have a complete and total body medical test which was interesting in that it revealed my body had stopped making vitamin D and my thyroid had almost packed in.
"Menopause. It wasn’t something I wanted to acknowledge back then. No one spoke about it except in the form of a joke. Well it wasn’t funny. It isn’t. But it is part of life. I feel thankful and grateful that, frankly, I am still alive and got though that chapter with as much grace as I could muster. Moreover, I just loving waking and greeting every brand new day."
“No-one really ever talked me about the menopause until one day whilst having a routine chat with my doctor she mentioned, at 45, she thought I might be peri-menopausal and maybe we should check my hormone levels.
"I thought, well now is my chance to find out what I was in for, so I asked her for advice. What came back to me floored me. I could look forward to extreme tiredness, weight gain was a certainty, as were hot flushes and sweats, irritability and memory loss.
"But not to worry she cheerfully told me at the first sign of symptoms we would just switch into HRT. What are the alternatives to HRT are there I asked innocently? None. And then to add insult to injury she said I would be delighted with HRT unless of course I was lucky and had no symptoms.
"So there I was – ten years of symptoms ahead of me that could only be made better with synthetic hormones or drinking horse urine, conning my body into thinking it was younger than it was.
"Fast forward to now. I am well and truly into my menopause and yes its true I am at least ten kgs heavier and I constantly forget things but I have no symptoms and feel fabulous, liberated from the monthly stresses and strains of periods and all they bring. So maybe I am one of those lucky women my doctor told me about? No I am not, I’m just very focussed on treating myself through nature and supplements and I can be bloody minded when I want to be. First I noticed my hot flushes went ballistic every time I had a drink, so I ditched alcohol and along with it the hot flushes vanished as did the hangovers and the awful night sweats. Next I cut out caffeine, hard for the first three weeks but I can say I have never looked back once I discovered Swiss-method caffeine-free coffee – who knew caffeine was such a stimulant for hot flushes (well everybody but me it seems!). Now the hot flushes and night sweats have disappeared, my libido is fine, in fact I feel better than before thanks to combinations of herbal supplements and my elimination of those ‘bad’ toxins. It may sound extreme but honestly, it hasn’t been and OK definitely not for everyone but for me (and my principles) I’m delighted not to have to drink horse urine for the rest of my days. No periods. No cramps. Freedom. Next on my list is the natural progesterone creams and to shift my spare tyre.”
Severine Menem - Nutritionist for midlife Women
"My journey into menopause started 2 years ago when I realised my extremely dry eyes were actually a symptom of perimenopause.
"At 46 I am lucky: I’ve been able to manage my symptoms naturally (i.e. without Bio/HRT or medication) – which I suppose is a perk of being a nutritional therapist. It doesn’t mean that it is easy, it means that if you want a natural solution, you find a way to make it work. Until now at least!
The good: I know diet and lifestyle are key. Getting various menopause symptoms helped me reassess my diet and lifestyle to make a number of tweaks and improvements. I also got to try various supplements that I can now recommend to clients.
"The bad: I can’t say I’ve experienced the bad side of menopause, I only tasted what could be. The only annoying part so far is the irregularity of my periods, and when new symptoms come out of the blue and force me into making new changes. I can’t take anything for granted anymore, I have to work at it all the time. Still I am grateful but be part of the 25% of women who don’t have symptoms."
Rebecca Hopkins, Co-Founder, Balance Me natural skincare
“I’m still in the early stage of perimenopause. I have to say I wouldn’t have been au fait with this life stage at all if it wasn’t for all the excellent awareness-raising information that is being shared and dissected by a host of amazing menopause advocates including @drmenopausecare, @menopausedoctor, @postcardsfrommidlife to name but a few. For my part, I am embracing my own personal menopause journey by recognising a number of common symptoms that are affecting me and my peers such as dehydration, pigmentation, hormonal acne, anxiety and sleep deprivation as a result of depleting oestrogen levels. It has also paved the way for new innovations in my Balance Me skincare range. My philosophy is that we need to embrace it, not accept we can’t seek help and advice to alleviate our symptoms and find whatever treatment we need to support us through this key life stage, from start to finish and beyond.”
I’m 51, currently in perimenopause and feel like I’m going through hell. I am someone who has suffered with depression on and off for many years and right now I feel like my perimenopause has brought the worst symptoms of my depression to the forefront. Along with that, anxiety has taken a hold with constant awful thoughts and that crippling feeling of impending doom. I don’t like to leave the house anymore, or to socialise, and I have totally lost my confidence, including with my job. My body aches, I’ve put on weight, and I am experiencing hair loss too. I’ve also been bleeding more or less continuously for the past 7 weeks. My doctor’s answer has been to increase the dosage of my antidepressants, no mention of HRT. Thank you Karen for all the work you are doing, it helps to share in the experience of others and to know it’s not just me going mad. I’ve realised there is information out there, it’s just knowing where to find it.
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Sandy
October 19, 2020
Hey Cheryl I feel exactly the same. I went on HRT 6 months ago and felt amazing! Sadly I feel awful now, it’s so upsetting. I had really bad depression when I was 22, then again when my first daughter was born age 25. I’m a fitness freak and I’m always outdoors running, paddle boarding etc and I’ve kept it at bay (I’m 50) but the last few months the depression is creeping back and it’s driving me crazy!!! I’m anxious, stressed it’s awful